1.) You are at the supermarket and notice that a fellow shopper is drawing faces on all the bananas. Do you

Tell a manager - people have to eat them!
Buy the lot and send them to your friends for Christmas - how creative!
Ignore it - you already have bananas at home
Suddenly remember that your sketchbook is in your friend's car
Pull out a magic marker and give them mustaches

2.) You see an old woman slip on a banana peel and fall in the gutter. Do you

Laugh inwardly but help her up
Pull out your video camera and ask her to do it again
Hand her your card and offer to sue the city on her behalf
Ask if she's finished with it - you want a turn!
Think of a movie you saw in film class the other day

3.) You open up your lunchbox and find that your mother has packed only a banana. Do you

Trade it for a Ding Dong
Ask for the sprouts Billy's mother put on his sandwich and then make a salad
Calculate how many calories it has - after all you're on a diet
Eat it and hope dinner comes quickly
Calculate how many calories it has - and then laugh at the girl who won't eat her banana because it's too fattening

4.) For your birthday your sister makes you a banana cream pie. Do you

Take a picture of it sitting on your black leather sofa
Ask for the recipe
Carefully cut the pie into eight equal portions and then share
Make sure there aren't any unnatural presevatives in it
Push it in her face - what's a party without a food fight

5.) Your blind date arrives with a bunch of bananas for you. Do you

Put them in water
Accept them graciously even though you're allergic
Slam the door - what are you a farmer?
Give them the bag of Avacados you bought specially for the occasion
Ask if they're organically grown

6.) Someone calls your new yellow car a banana boat. Do you

Have it painted black immediately
Buy a banana scented air freshner
Hold back your tears until you're alone
Throw a banana split party to christen it
Paint bananas along the sides and a large red cherry on the hood

7.) You meet a couple who named their new baby "Banana". Do you

Knit him a sweater with his name on it
Ask how they decided on such a lovely name
Bite your tongue but tell all your friends about these lunatics you just met
Hope you have a daughter someday so you can call her Apricot
Tell them his diaper smells a little "ripe"

8.) Someone steals your banana from the fridge in the break room. Do you

Eat Fred's pudding cup - it was probably him anyway
Leave a note asking for it to be replaced
Go across the street for a burger
Sit by the fridge and ask everyone who enters if they've seen your banana
Check for banana breath among your co-workers

9.) You find an old brown banana thats fallen behind the microwave. Do you

Mash it up and make "gourmet" baby food
Throw it away and disinfect the counter
Wait for someone else to throw it away
Keep your eye on it and take notes on what you see
Eat it - brown bananas are the best kind!

10.) Sliced Bananas are best

On cereal
In slingshots
As a skin rub
In J-ELLO
Dipped in plastic and used as coat buttons

Copyright © 2003 Haveabanana.net